Thursday, July 03, 2014

Are you a bad driver?

Surveys show that most people are confidant drivers who feel like they do a good job of driving. They also feel that most other drivers are crazy. Someone has to be wrong here. Yesterday I saw one of the wrong people, and I thought their example might could help others figure out if they too are a bad driver. 
Rocky and I were on a walk in the neighborhood. As we got close to our house we saw a car whip around the corner with barely a pause at the stop sign. They then swerved and honked at a car they almost hit. The "idiot driver" they had to honk their horn at was actually a parked car with no one in it. It was pulled to the side, in the proper direction, and well within the law. 
Here is my helpful tip: If you find yourself honking at legally parked cars, you are in fact, a bad driver. It isn't them. It's you. Consider enrolling in driving school. Maybe taking a yoga class to calm you down a bit. Oh, and even if you are a good driver, please slow down in neighborhoods. Kids are out, people are walking, cars are parked, just be extra careful. 
On a side note, on this walk we also saw a wild rabbit that kept sneezing. It was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen. 

Monday, June 30, 2014

Why does this annoy me?

I can not believe I am writing an actual blog post about this, but it is really bugging me, and I'm kind of hoping I have at least one friend as crazy as me that is also annoyed.
I was in Kroger today looking at the canned biscuits to use to make mini pizzas because sometimes I can be a fun mom. It has been bothering me that over the past few years Pillsbury seemed to be phasing out their normal sized whop biscuits (you "whop" them on the counter to open them, I didn't make that up, people really call them that). Everything was now the "grand" sized because what good is a biscuit unless it is the size of your toddler's head, right? Then I saw this:
Normal, regular sized biscuits are now "junior"? Why? The name is an oxymoron! Are we suppose to be excited they they now have miniature versions of their gigantic version? We have taken  1+1 and made 2, but now you can get half of 2 also. That is still 1! It isn't new. 
THEY VANITY SIZED BISCUITS!!! 
It is fine to eat a giant biscuit as long as you aren't pretending that it is a normal single serving biscuit. The smaller size is a normal biscuit. 
It is stupid things like this that make America fat. 

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Jack and the Pie

Something cool happened tonight, but to explain it I have to start last week. Our church has an Awana program for the kids on Wednesday night (it's a church thing, learn bible verse, have fun, etc.). Our two oldest age groups were in a friendly competition to raise money for missions. The leaders of the losing side would get a whipped cream pie to the face. The problem was that two of the sweetest most Disney princess ladies were the leaders on the losing side. Even the winners were not too excited, especially the daughter of Miss Tina (one of the two). She was almost in tears.
In our Sunday School class this week, Tina told us she was nervous about it and was still holding out hope that a night in shining armor (meaning her husband) would swoop in and take her place. I was telling the kids this over lunch after church and we mentioned that often Miss Tina's husband doesn't get home from work in time on Wednesday nights to be able to save her. Right then I noticed a gleam in Jack's eye. We could tell he was giving it a lot of thought. He started to ask, "Do you think I should ...?", but didn't get the whole thought out. I smiled and told him if he wanted to step in and be the knight in shining armor, I'd bring him a change of clothes. He wanted to think about it.
This morning I sent an email to our youth minister Nick that started out "One day I'll send you a normal email, but today is not that day." I went on to explain that if Jack volunteered it was not a joke or impulsive. It was fine by me, if it was fine with him. He replied that he had also decided not to let the ladies get hit and Jack could join him in saving them. He actually spun it into a sweet message about Christ's sacrifice for us.
So, here it is. Jack getting a pie in the face to save a lady.



...and maybe a tiny bit to impress a girl.


Sunday, April 13, 2014

Egg Hunt Husbands


I had to write a post bragging about something unusual that happened at my church. We had an Easter Egg hunt this past weekend at a member's beautiful farm, which is not the strange part. The strange part was the number of men who showed up to watch their kids pick up plastic eggs. Several were even there in spite of the fact that their wives weren't. Two of the moms I asked about were out of town for different mini vacations. I can not tell you the number of kid things I have been to where there were 100 moms and 4 dads. I don't think I have ever seen the dads outnumber the moms, especially at a church event that was preschool heavy. Both our senior pastor and music minister where there, even though neither of them have young kids, and neither of them were leading the devotional or prayer time.They just showed up to help. Speaking of helping, there were rather large bounce houses that needed to be taken down. It was going to require several men to make it happen. The children's minister asked if a few would stay to help with clean up, and they did, a lot of them. The following is a picture of a few of them as they tried to get the rest of the air out after folding the largest one.


 Keep in mind that this is just a few of the dads who stayed to help. That is at least ten guys just in this picture who volunteered to stay late after a kid's church event. If this doesn't amaze you then clearly you have never served on a church preschool committee.
Far too often men stay home giving the impression that church is just for women and children. I am so proud of our guys and the love they show to their families, both in their home and in their church family.


Saturday, March 29, 2014

No makeup for cancer (not exactly)

No make up selfies are popping up all over Facebook for cancer awareness. If you are wondering why, then welcome to my thought train. If you have read my blog for long then you already know how I feel about awareness for things everyone already knows about. Today I read an article written by a cancer patient kind of ripping the trend. She was irritated because she feels terrible and doesn't have the energy for makeup ever, and the idea of people "being brave" to post a picture with no makeup rubbed her wrong. Probably because she had no makeup and no hair and was just happy to be breathing. I can't say I blame her.
For me, it reminded me of my husband's cousin Joy. She was recently on an episode of The Doctors. She has a bizarre form of cancer, but that isn't why they had her on. She was there to talk about benefiting from a charity called Lipstick Angels. They are makeup artists who go to hospitals and pamper patients.  They give hand massages, facials, and makeup application to women who are tired from fighting for their life. It may seem trivial to some, but that sort of attention can really lift your spirits. It is a good example of people using their skill and talents to brighten the day of someone else. If you want to see the clip from the episode, it is here.
So, here is my picture with no makeup. It isn't brave. It isn't special. It is just how I look when I have a cold and not enough sleep. It isn't to make you aware of cancer. You are already all too familiar with it. It is to make you aware that you know how to do something that would benefit someone else. Even if it isn't something traditionally done, it can still be helpful. Maybe all you can do is write a check, but that is huge and more than most.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Sick

Have you ever noticed that as a mom you never get sick just after restocking tissues, cold medicine, or after getting all your whites washed? No. It is always the day you needed to go to the store, the day before you completely run out of clean underwear, and just as the last tissue leaves the box. Every single time. One day I will write a book called "Murphy's wife's laws", and this will be chapter one. 
Seasonal allergies finally caught up with me. I've been holding them at bay for a month now, but Monday they won the battle. I've only been really sick two days now and already I look like a less groomed Jennifer Connelly in Labrynth. Is growing eyebrows a super power, and if so, can I exchange it for something cooler like mental long division skills? 
Speaking of super powers, thanks to auto correct, I now know that if I am ever in a lab accident my evil villain name will be Judge Mental. It has a nice ring to it. Judge Mental sentences you to death. Mwahaha! I should start working on my evil laugh just in case. I think I have a gavel around here somewhere. I picture it something like Yzma in The Emperor's New Groove, but after she was turned into the cat with the cute voice. 
Keep in mind that these are my thoughts on cold medicine. I think we can all be thankful that I don't drink or use any recreational drugs. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

Junk Shopping

I've had kind of a stressful week. Well, that's not exactly true. "I've given myself stress this week" is probably more honest. While my kids are at the dentist (Rocky goes all knight in shining armor and covers that for me) I decided to take a side trip to one of my local junk stores. Some people call them antique boutiques, but when your store's name is Lolitta's at Runt Place, I think we all know what kind of store it is.
Here is a sampling of what I didn't buy. 
Meet Enrique, Fabio, and John Henry.

I did pick up this little beauty very cheaply. I know people don't wear these anymore, but when has that ever stopped me? 
It is amazing how fun these little shops are. I may need to spend a day soon hitting a bunch of them.